EDITOR'S NOTE:Each stage of life has its own pitfalls and perks. In high school there's peer pressure, but also the excitement of starting to figure out out who we are, and where we want to be. Older and wiser is the hope. That in mind, it stands to reason that we've learned a thing or two by the age of 50. The News-Times attended a Danbury High School reunion last weekend billed as "Nifty, Nifty, We're All 50." We asked members of the Class of '68 to share some of the life lessons they've learned. Here's what we found.

Jean O'Neill

SPECIAL TO THE NEWS-TIMES

Remember when? When girls took time to iron their dresses for school each day, when boys wore button-down shirts and loafers were the dress code?

That was high school in America in 1968. But no matter what you wore or when you went, chances are some of the friends you made in high school are among your friends today. Even after students go off to college and move away, there are those people who remain special, because they come from a place called home.

It's those threads that keep friendships connected. It doesn't matter that you didn't know everyone in your class, or didn't know quite where you fit in, because all the pieces come together over time. That's part of what folks said they had come to realize at last weekend's reunion of the Danbury High School Class of 1968.

Dianne Felicissimo-Mariano, now of Brookfield, remembered feeling just a part of the main stream in high school. "You perceive yourself as others do. I was never one of the superlatives: most popular, prettiest; just sort of in the middle," she said. "It wasn't until the 1980s, when my children were young, that I began to realize I was special too. I began doing volunteer work with the Jaycees in Brookfield and found that I really could have a positive impact on others."

Felicissimo-Mariano was one of more than 100 people at the reunion, which was held at the Italian American Club in Ridgefield. The class of 520 has reunited every five years since graduation. Many of the classmates interviewed said friends and family were important to them in high school, and remain their priority.

Felicissimo-Mariano, who shares that view, said the feelings are even stronger now because several of her friends have lost children. "Their tragic losses have really driven home how important each day is that we have with our friends and family," she said.

Coming together 32 years after graduation, class members celebrated their 50th birthdays with two cakes. One was for those with "the big 50" already under their belts. The other was for classmates who are counting down their 40s 'till the year's end.

These are members of the eighth grade class at Main Street School in 1964. They graduated from Danbury High in 1968 and recently had a reunion.

Felicissimo-Mariano wanted to get everyone's name on the cakes, but settled for eight-inch candles with names taped on like flags. "I wanted to make it fun," she said.

And fun it was for the tight knit crew who still keep in touch and reminisce about The Doors playing at the high school in 1967, and being the first freshman class to enter the new high school on Clapboard Ridge. Prior to that they attended high school in a White Street building that's now part of WestConn.

Class members also chattered about Friday night "stags," which were co-ed parties they had at the Elks Hall where EVERYONE went. They laughed about a graduation day prank involving a school desk that somehow exited through a window. And they talked about The Beatles, The Beatles, The Beatles, peace, love and war.

With the DJ playing tunes they all remembered, the dance floor was packed and laughter filled the room. Hugs lasted a little longer than they did just two years before at the 30th reunion.

Aside from Felicissimo-Mariano, the folks who make sure these reunions come to be are Lynn Tomaino-Meeker, Janice Melillo, Ken Piela and Kevin Javillionar. "We get help from lots of classmates," said Tomaino-Meeker. "I started with the fifth reunion because I was one of the few people living in Danbury at that time.

"Everyone started calling me, asking what's going on, are we having a fifth?" she said. "I guess I just said 'yes,' and have been doing it ever since. One person will know where another is and would call me with their address."

Kevin Javillonar of Danbury is always on the lookout for alumni. "With e-mail it's possible to find people we couldn't before," he said. "People come from across the country to make these parties. Someone came from Japan for the 25th."

Ken Piela, now of Danbury and Florida, remembers the class being tight back in '68. "We bonded in some exceptional way that's endured. This is a great excuse for a party, and a pretty good turnout too."

Bill Lauf, now of Warren, spoke of music having a great impact on him then and now. "Music was the bond we all had. The Beatles were it." Lauf played the four-string guitar in a band called The Nomads back then. "We played the Friday night stags at the Elks Hall. It was something.

"Those high school connections have a profound impact on us for the rest of our lives, sometimes positive, sometimes negative; but always lasting," he added. "For those who look back fondly on high school, the chance to get together is important. We all need a touchstone, a place where home is, and that's usually where we went to high school."

Lorraine Chickering, now of Washington D.C., was voted most ambitious, most dramatic and most musical in '68. "I spent too many years after high school worrying about the ambitious part of me," she said. "After high-school I pursued acting, but the lack of a steady paycheck sent me packing.

"Then I went on to study to become a pathologist, but the science scared me. I finally went into business on the corporate level."

Chickering said she's learned that work friendships can be great because we spend so much time at work, but they can also be fleeting and tricky, depending on office politics and climate.

The News-Times/Douglas Healey Bill Lauf and Kevin Javillonar, both members of the Class of '68, hold some of the Danbury High School newspapers from that era at the reunion.

"At the 20th reunion I rekindled some old friendships, and they touched me, really touched me," she said. "They've become the kind of friendships that keep you honest and I find that you can always count on. During high school our class lived through so many horrible times: civil rights, Vietnam,... it made us tight. I think it's part of the reason we go so far to get together."

Rich Macko, now of Pennsylvania, travels extensively for his work but made time to attend."I take every day as a gift, my friends and family were most important to me in '68 and now it's really my family, and this group is like family," he said.

Peggy Loormann-Weiss, of Danbury, doesn't think her views have changed that much since 1968. "I think we all think about our families more than we ever did back then, but the issues that were important to me then, environmental and education, are still a priority to me now."

David Siegelbaum, now of Manchester, started a Danbury High School Class of '68 Web site: http:/home.earthlink.net/~acrossusa/dhs68.htm, when the group was organizing its 30th reunion. "Friends are so important, I've been lucky to keep so many, I've made it to a least 80 percent of our reunions and love this unique idea of a 50th birthday party."

Arthur Friedman, of Washington, D.C., was voted most enthusiastic in '68. And that description still fits. "They say life begins at 50... Well from the great class of '68, you ain't seen nothing yet!" he said.

Another who traveled cross-country for the reunion was Linda Bourque-Ahlgren, of Texas. "This crazy group will always be interesting to me," she said. "When you get out of high school and get together, the barriers come down, the cliques are gone, it makes you feel good to come home."

Looking back on 1968, classmate Marc Catone, now of Ithaca, NY, said the most important thing on his mind then was getting into college.

"Now, the most important thing to me is being me and accepting people for whatever they are," he said. "I'm really comfortable being 50, although the time it really hit me was when I was filling out a form in a doctor's office and they asked for your date of birth, no big deal, then your age. When I put down the numbers, 5-0, it sort of hit me how fast it's all gone by, but its OK, it's good."

Catone has been working in all sorts of areas since high school, and recently wrote a virtual book, available only online, called "The Giant's Chair." It's a coming-of-age story set in the Danbury area, with references to local landmarks. It can be found at www.1stbooks.com.

Bob Medhurst, now of Scottsdale, Ariz., summed up his insights into the last 32 years, saying "Don't take life too seriously." And Linda Thompson-Pickwick, of Newtown, says she's realized that "all those things your parents told you certainly ring true. As we go through life we hear them saying: work hard, study hard, and those simple words will get you far when you know what you want to do," she said. "Health is also a big issue as you get older, your own health and of your family."

Alan Kraut, now of Washington, D.C., has been making each reunion since the 20th. "What I like about these guys and girls is the sense of constancy," he said.

"Maybe it's there because it's Danbury, not a huge town. Lots of us knew each other from grade school, we're connected. One great thing about this group now is they're totally accepting. You're not going to see anyone putting out their business cards, these people are beyond that. It doesn't matter what you do, it matters that you're you."